Angelic Groove: Groove with me through the dark nights...

"Till Death Do Us Apart". Whether it is an oath taken in Christian marriages, this line definitely suits the post title.

My mum's eldest brother, aged 63, passed away on 10th August 2005. It was a very sudden death, because just a week ago, he was still very much alive. From what I have heard from my relatives and parents, he actually had cancer and due to the chemotherapy, he was very weak and he fell and slipped into a coma. He was pronounced brain-dead on National Day and the doctors removed his life-support system the next day.

Frankly speaking, I wasn't close to my uncle at all. In fact, we only get to meet our relatives (both sides of our parents) once or twice a year, depending on how many celebrations we have. When my mum told us that our uncle had died, I was wondering whether the one I have in my mind was the uncle who had passed away. But my guess was correct.

I went to the wake on Friday since I have to attend to lessons and teach tuition on Wednesday and Thursday. When I saw the picture of my uncle, I felt really sad, because he was still so alive during the Chinese festive periods and now, he's gone. But since I wasn't close to my uncle, I didn't feel the loss as greatly as my mum and her family.

After the initial two days of rituals, today's the actual funeral, where his body was sent for cremation. Our family went early in the morning to wait for the actual ceremony. I was feeling particularly emotional today, especially when I have seen this sasunaru amv that Xiaobai downloaded. (well, thats another story..)

While waiting, I couldn't help but observe the people around me. I suddenly realised that one of my uncles was standing solemnly near the coffin and he was wiping away tears. As you've guessed it, I sobbed because it was really heart-wrecking. Soon after, the funeral band arrived and started playing songs that my deceased uncle liked when he was alive. Thats when my mum and my aunties started crying, and my grand aunt was seen sobbing as well.

But this is not the reason why I am blogging the funeral. My focus is actually the wife of my uncle, dua kim. I know that everyone eventually will die, but I cried during the funeral mostly because of my auntie. Too many unfortunate things have happened to her; she had a stroke only in recent months that leaves her wheel-chair bound. She grew thin and gaunt and I only managed to recognise her when I think it through. From what I have heard from my parents, my uncle was the one who tended to her. But a sudden turn of events and she's all alone, without the companion that she was married to, the companion that is always by her side, till now.

I cried everytime I saw her crying in grief and agony. She couldn't really accept that her old mate had passed away, leaving her alone in this world. My mum and her sisters just tried their best to console her but even when she's calmed down, she will suddenly burst out again when the band played one of those sad chinese songs (think Teresa Teng) and cried.

You may not understand how bad the scene was, but to me, it was really a heart-wrecking image and I just started crying. And whats worse was that she was physically unable to send her husband off to the crematory. Before the coffin was taken to the van, some of the aunties wheeled her towards the coffin but she got all worked out again. When the coffin was taken to the van, she was crying, yelling that my aunties are forbidding her to see him off. They had to lie to her and tell her she will get to see him off but that was a really sad lie.

Maybe I was really too emotional today, but the raw emotions displayed by my auntie was too much to handle. It didn't help that she was frail and wheel-chair bound and truly in need of alot of tender loving care. But with my uncle gone, she will be all alone, with only a maid to attend to her. Her children may attend to her, but nothing will ever beat the TLC from your old companion.

And there's another person that I cried after looking at her pained look; my grand mother. There's a chinese saying 'bai fa ren song hei fa', the white haired sending off the black hair. I think noone can understand the pain that she felt, looking at her eldest son's coffin and probably thinking why isn't it the other way round. During the actual ceremony, I caught a glimpse of her wiping her wrinkled face and looking sadly at my uncle's coffin. I just felt my chest ached and tears just flowed.

But this is what all humans have to go through, life, aging, illness and death. But even this is inevitable, the close ones will still grieve. But I hope my auntie will be brave and continue to live with whatever strength she has left.

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